


i hope that one day you will see (just how beautiful you are)

by canyonblu



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Crying, Daddy Issues, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:41:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25017187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canyonblu/pseuds/canyonblu
Summary: Amy comforts Jake after the events of 2x18 "Captain Peralta".
Relationships: Charles Boyle & Jake Peralta, Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago, Ray Holt & Jake Peralta
Comments: 2
Kudos: 74





	i hope that one day you will see (just how beautiful you are)

“Ooh! You can interrogate one of my perps!” Jake exclaims as he excitedly led his dad on a tour around the 99th precinct.

“No he can’t! Don’t do that Jake!” Terry sighs.

\----------

The group looked happy for him, but at the same time, kind of skeptical. His father had been absent for most of Jake’s life, and he hasn’t contacted him for the past 6 years. They weren't sure Jake should just trust him immediately after he just decides to reappear in his life. But none of them spoke a word, not wanting to ruin his moment.

"Isn't it weird that Jake is just hanging out with his father right now?" Charles rolled his chair towards Amy’s desk, disgust evident in his voice.

“Yeah, but he is a grown man. He will be okay, why are you so worried about him?” Amy replied nonchalantly, her attention fixed on Captain Holt’s puzzle.

“Jake has a heart of a child, he is too trusting! Of course I will be worried. Come on Amy!” Charles said exasperatedly.

\----------

Eventually, Charles was right. Roger Peralta had only come to visit his son to ask for a favour, and Jake had so willingly took the time to travel to Canada to get his father out of trouble. Charles had begrudgingly followed – because he cared about his friend, not because he cared about that bastard.

Now, they were at Shaw’s with the promise of free drinks on him, but he was nowhere to be seen. He watched as Jake’s face fell as he read the text message – _Sorry son, won’t b there 2night. Subbing for a buddy tmr morn_ – before it was quickly replaced with a look of disappointment and slight anger. Then he left, giving the 10 minute hug a rain check

\----------

Half an hour later, Jake returned with his hands stuffed into his pockets. He tried his best to put on a face of indifference, but it came out as more of a grimace. All kinds of thoughts were running through his head, and he could not help the deep sense of loneliness that made its home in his chest. The worst thing was, Roger probably did not care. Why was he the one always being hurt?

Charles was overeager to comfort his best friend, but honestly, Jake just wanted to sit at the bar and drown his thoughts away in shots. These _very real_ emotions were not something he wanted to deal with sober. Thankfully Captain Holt interrupted Charles at that moment.

Captain Holt did not exactly catch him at the best of times, as it ended up with him excitedly blubbering over the idea that Holt was giving him allowance – just like a father gives his son. Holt left him with 4 simple words that was meant to be comforting, but it just showed him the striking disparity between his real father and his captain. Jake felt a dull ache in his heart. _Oh well, time for more shots._

\----------

As the night progressed, most of the squad started to leave. Jake was left alone at the bar counter, swirling his whiskey around in the glass. He stared listlessly at it, his mind filled with confused thoughts that he just wanted to stop. Amy stared at him from a distance as she felt concern creep within her. Earlier on, she did not really give much thought as to how much Jake would be affected by his father’s return. But looking at him now, she knew he was not in a good shape even though he might never admit it. Amy walked up to him, unsure if her presence was going to be appreciated.

“Hey... Are you okay? You are kind of drinking a lot tonight.” And this was coming from Amy, who was notorious for her drunkenness scale.

Jake didn't reply for a moment, and Amy internally berated herself for even trying. What did she expect Jake “I am uncomfortable with emotions” Peralta to say? Now she has just made things awkward.

Surprisingly, Jake sucked in a slow breath and said, “I just told my dad to not contact me unless he decides to get his shit together…That means I’m probably never going to see him again. And I don’t even know why I care! He has never really been there anyway, and I have got by fine without him anyway, right?” Even though the tone he had set out to use was anger, the last word came out shaky.

Amy had never seen him so vulnerable. The amount of alcohol he had drunk throughout the night must have really done a number on him. In this rare moment, she was beginning to realise that behind his confident and snarky façade was just a man who wanted his father’s approval. Yet it was the one thing he could not get.

“Jake, look at me”, Jake’s eyes shone with unshed tears. “You are amazing. You are an amazing detective, an amazing friend. Your dad missed out on spending time with such a wonderful son.”

“Yeah, or maybe I'm just not worth his time. Because I know I am not amazing…I know I say I am. But I also know I am just a grown man with a lot of debt, many unhealthy habits, no life skills…If you take away my love for catching bad guys… well, I am not much for the amount of work I am. Hah.” Jake let out a half-hearted laugh.

“Jake-” Amy’s heart hurt, hearing these things come out from Jake, who was usually so high-spirited.

“Even when I was young, I was never good enough. I was always too annoying, too in the way. My grades were always too bad, and I was never the best at anything.” Jake rambled on. “I tried my best though, you know? I tried to help mum. I drew him pictures. But I was never good enough for him to stay.”

Jake felt his eyes fill up with tears to the point of overflow. He couldn’t believe he was about to cry over his piece-of-shit father. Roger did not deserve his tears.

Yet, the tears fell.

And fell.

Jake scrubbed at his face, desperately willing himself to stop them from flowing. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-”, he began.

Amy pulled him into a hug wordlessly, and felt her blouse getting wet.

"Jake,” she said softly, “I know it’s hard to believe. But it was and is never your fault. You are so amazing.” _And you are so loved,_ but she did not say that part out loud.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading, comments are appreciated :)


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